Tenderness
While reflecting on exactly what I would include in my next blog, I had an early morning intuition which centered on a fascinating esoteric experience I had some years ago. In fact it occurred not long after my spiritual guide, as I always called him in my thoughts, had died, but under circumstances which made me extremely happy for him, as it meant his release from the excruciating pain he had undergone for several years.
The morning intuition I had on this recent occasion referred centrally to this decades ago experience with my spiritual guide, which was so beautiful and deeply meaningful in my life that I would like now to describe that happening. Then, in a second blog, as a Part II for this perhaps rather lengthy project, I will give my recent morning intuition, which curiously enough was on the subject of tenderness, which was epitomized in the event which I will now describe.
Without any memory of how I got there, I found myself walking hand in hand with my spiritual guide along a lengthy white hall, and I knew at once I had never been there before. How I got there I have to this day found no clue. Nor did I know why we were there. As I awakened to my surroundings, I simply noted the fact that I was walking with someone I adored and trusted completely, and that was enough for the moment.
After a few steps it came to my mind with absolute certainty that my guide was taking me with him to introduce me to God. Normally I would be overwhelmed by such a realization, but to my astonishment I sensed that this seemed completely normal to me and needed no further reflection. I had long known that my spiritual guide had such a relationship with the One Reality, so I found it completely normal that he would choose one day to introduce me to the One whom I had come to realize I would know sooner or later as my own Real Self.
So, no fussing around, Dusk, just get on with getting to that open door which you can now discern in the distance.
As I focussed for a moment on the open door, I found I knew with an inner certainty that could not be questioned that God Himself was inside that open door at the end of the corridor. How? It was all simply the very nature of this experience. Even the incredible seemed normal and in absolutely no need for questioning or even reflection. IT SIMPLY WAS.
A millisecond after realizing that God was inside the open doorway, I felt a surge of great tenderness swirling quietly around me. It was God’s tenderness. No question. All that formed as a question, was: tenderness for what?
As I asked the question, I knew already the answer. It was His tenderness for His children.
That was incredible, and I had to reflect quickly, and no sooner the reflection started than again I knew the answer, indelibly. It was for having had to ask them to do a very great and important job for Him: to pass long years completely cut off from all contact with their own Self which remained within the fact of infinite Oneness, which is the Truth of everything.
Dusk! Stop trying to reflect and to understand!
But I could not reflect for one moment, even, as another wave of tenderness hit me and it was all I could do to continue to stagger along with the helping hand of my spiritual guide clutched in mine. The depth and sweetness of that wave of God’s tenderness for His children hit me so hard I felt I could not stand another moment of it without bursting like a big popped balloon. But I did take the next step, and the next, and even another. And then I knew that my entire life had been changed in these few moments of uncanny inner experience and realization of the nature of the experience. Here was a secret of the nature of God so central and important that all else seemed nothing in comparison. Even the greatest heights of joy and incredible inner attainments I had sometimes thought I had achieved, were mere nothings in comparison to this. Here was Truth and Reality such as I had never imagined it. If God could have one small part of His being so incredible and full and explosive and filled with the Harmony as I was experiencing it, then what must all of God be?
As I thought of this, I wondered how I would be able to give one glance up to His face when I passed through that door?
I did not. After a few brief moments of black space interpolated in the film of the Now, I found myself doing the dishes in my kitchen and following without the slightest hesitation to raise a glass under the faucet to rinse it.
How did I get there? I don’t know. Where had my spiritual guide gone? I don’t know. How had all this happened? Stop it, Dusk!
All I can say is, that life has never been the same after that walk hand in hand down the long white hall. It is simply incredibly full and filled, whenever I pause for a moment, with the incredible sweetness of God’s tenderness for His children, whom He has asked to do a job for Him that entails being separated in a dream from the infinite tenderness and reality of Oneness that I know now as the essence of His being.
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